|cunt. you know i always loved you the most. (sodomy) wrote,|
@ 2008-07-12 03:06:00
I had this sensation that made my body feel as if I were going to die. It came with yes, hyper ventilation and a severe sense of panic. This was of course a panic attack. I haven’t slept on my days off much because I keep dreading going back. My mom sees this all and she forces herself into my life by calling out for me. It did get me off. So she pushes me and tells me to stop moping and go rent the lens before the place closes. So I go and they’re like, well sure 75 to rent but you have to leave two grand and some change on your credit card as a deposit. I sort of saw myself getting rammed into; I saw myself being mugged, and I saw a security deposit and two and half month’s rent just walking away. Plus, I mean, couldn’t you rent a car and drive to Latin America to rent a black market lens for that money. That didn’t happen. The renting. It was a wasted trip and I freaked a little because I had no idea how I was going to take photos for tomorrow. The place is by Chelsea. Walked down to fourteen and decided to buy a card reader for about thirty bucks. For whatever reason, I asked the sales assciociate if there were any D Nikkor lens for sale? Yes. Long story short, I ended up buying a 50mm-200mm af lens. I mean, it’s pretty cool. It takes a little getting used to. Reaching out and focusing. It’s small too. Anyway, this new thing enabled me to hide in the bushes in Union Square Park and stalk people. I spent about three hours just getting used to finding subjects and taking shots of them in passing in the lens. It was a challenge but good practice. I then ran into some people I used to hang out with in High School who know a friend of a friend (Lily, who lives on Ave C, remember?) so it was this really awkward drug haggling moment where I took quick portraits and decided to run away from them.
What sucks is that I have to switch from my 18-50mm to the 50mm-200mm lens. It drives me crazy because I have to get a little quicker before missing a shot. I feel like I can't focus quick enough and the fact that the lighting is so erratic in Union Square Prk makes it even more tense. It’s sort of like boot camp or the army though. I have to practice in the dark room with a stop watching. What’s funny is that the first time I learned how to reel undeveloped film, it was in a pitch black room and it was like army training. GO GO GO REEL REEL REEL. But these are what I did. There are about 200 photos of the crowd and the streets and very few shots of candid strangers and not-so candid strangers. In the end, I really like honing in on people. The color is really washed out, a lot of this might have to due with the fact that my iso was too high, my exposure compensation was wrong, and I was a very nervous ninja at first. It’s all so washed out. I don’t really know how to fix any of these in photoshop to make them alright. No idea where to start because if I sharpen, I’ll loose the bookah going, it might just need a little simple adjusting. But it was too much work.